Who doesn't love sizzling hot discounts? Nay-sayers and curmudgeons that's who. For the well-balanced majority however, very often it is solely the thought, the thrill, of perhaps sniffing out some sort of bargain that gets us out of bed in the morning. Wracked by existential angst and pondering the futility of existence? Well, nothing will soothe your restless mind better than seeing a multi-pack of past-their-expiration Chickatees retailing for a heavily reduced price in a dilapidated corner shop. You may toddle off into the sunset, your mind and body assuaged by medically inadvisable amounts of synthesised-chicken flavouring.
However, there comes a point where a discount becomes simply too much; a point where, rather than being able to revel in the savings that you are making, the proffered reduction in price begins to make you question the quality, the veracity, of the product in question. For example, if someone were to offer you a delightful puppy, you might initially be interested in purchasing it. [Important aside: In this thought experiment you are at a stage of moral degeneracy where you consider it reasonable to purchase a dog rather than get one from a kennel.] If however this person were to then say that they were offering you the puppy at a heavy discount, and you could purchase it for three euro, you would instantly become suspicious. 'What is wrong with this dog? Does it have some rare and exotic dog disease that may transmute and become infectious to humans? Is it actually just a small man disguised as a dog who will steal my pension?' These are but some of the reasonable questions that may rush through your head. After a certain point, the greater the bargain, the greater the worry.
Except that is if the bargain in question is relating to pints of Beamish that are being sold for 7 cents. That - despite being a price reduction so gratuitous that it caused me to lightly vomit in my own mouth when I first read it - is a deal that is not to be avoided. It is a deal so magnificent that you may even be able to overcome the fact that you probably do not even really like Beamish that much.
The pub in question that has launched the drinks deal to put all other drinks deals to shame, is The Oval Bar in Cork. The reason for their - and I believe this to be a direct quote from The Ovar Bar's accountant - "financially ruinous offer," is to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the bar's existence. Though if they are to keep committing such grandiose acts of business folly, they may not see out too many more anniversaries.
The deal as outlined on their Facebook page, will kick into action tonight from 19:18 onwards - a nod to the year of the pub's founding. There appear to be few Ts and /Cs stated about this ludicrous offer, but one imagines that their Beamish taps will run dry quite quickly, so anyone who's in the area would want to get down there early to avoid the disappointment of not being able to avail of their largesse.
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Tonight is the night, tonight is the night where you can get heinously tipsy for about 50c - €1 depending on how your previous relationship with alcohol has cultivated your tolerance.
