Sh*t Girls Think Guys Care About

Males...We're a fairly observant kind, whether or not you choose to believe it. However, there is a lot of sh*t girls think guys care about that they actually don't. As I have pointed out in the past, anything we don't notice is because we choose not to get worked up about something that we have no time for or that will cause us hassle.

Basically, we ignore things that we know will cause friction. But these are the things that we plain don't notice because we just don't see them as important or in lay man's terms, we just don't care enough about them. Unfortunately for us they seem to be the things that spark arguments with the fairer sex and evoke responses like "you hate me don't you" or "oh my god you know nothing about me". Lets think about this rationally for a second, I hate you because you cut an unnoticeable amount of hair off your head?

We really are saints with the shit we put up with ;)

That you cut a centimetre off your hair

How you girls all know this yet still get thick with us when we don't notice is beyond belief. At the stage when I hear "notice anything different about me" I just respond with "Oh your hair is lovely hun". Yet I still get caught out from time to time. I reckon the entire female population only get their hair cut when they are looking for an argument.

The state of your room

It's fine. There's a pair of knickers and a wet towel from this morning on the floor. That's nothing compared to my room. There's a pile of clothes in the corner that hasn't been washed since the nineties and a pizza on the locker that has seen better days. I won't even mention all the used tissues in the bin.

The colourdy stuff on your fingernails

I don't look at fingernails, I just have no time for them. Its dead skin. Why would you want to paint something that's dead in order to make it look better? Unless you're a funeral director. Finger nails are for one thing...biting in the 90th minute as Liverpool desperately try to hold onto a 3-2 lead over Manchester City in the race for the Premier League title.

Those shoes you bought last weekend*

For us there is a point when all the shoes you own just roll into one big shoe. We don't care about shoes. We don't have many pairs. I have one pair to go with a suit, one pair for arsing around, one pair for playing sports, one pair for the gym, one pair for a night out and a pair of slippers for when my hooves are up and watching netflix. We all presume Jimmy Choo is some form of soap actor, because we don't watch soaps. See, our putting 2 and 2 together skills are exemplary. What's that you say? He's a guy, famous for making girls shoes...nahhhh

The gossip and bitchiness

I'm not talking about Beth Ditto and co either. We have way too much time to be doing practically anything else than listening to what Jennifer may, may not or would never do or how Paula "can't even" when it comes to another of your backstabbing friends. We get it...bitches be crazy. And we want no part of it.

The lives of Z list celebrities

I could sit here forever and list off the types of blood sucking people I am on about but a few examples should give you the idea.....ANY reality TV stars...including every single one of Kardashians, everybody on the channel E, WAGS, and boy/girl bands. Any soap stars, pop stars such as Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus or the One Direction crew. What is your problem.... these people have fans who would literally rip your face off if you utter one word about someone they are never likely to meet, that kind of behaviour is absolute insanity and you don't need to be encouraging them...

What diet you are on this week

Atkins, broccoli, spinach, cashew nut, tea bag, starvation...now not all the above are actual diets, but they could be soon enough. Eating healthy is the best diet of all and that's the response you'll be getting from us when you come along with your new fad....unless of course it's the chicken diet.