If you have found yourself doing any of these things... You might need to have a long look and yourself in the mirror. Luckily, de-assholing is easy enough, just don't be an asshole.
You park in disabled spaces
Or you park in two spaces
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You wear Google Glasses
And snapbacks
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Or deep V Necks
You do this with your tea bags
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And this with your beer mats
Sometimes you take phonecalls where you shouldn't
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And speak louder than appropriate
You're careless with your urination
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You eat with your mouth open
And drink straight from the carton
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Then you put it back in the fridge with a mouthful left
Listen to Picard next time
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If you steal peoples drinks, you're an asshole
Or claim to be a non smoker and then ask for smokes from friends
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You double dip your knife
And put chewed gum under desks
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You open the toothpaste and squeeze from the top
And clap when the plane lands
I'm sure you're a lovely person underneath it all but if you do any of these things... Sort it out.