Rewind to four weeks ago when you finished your last exam and a myriad of emotions washed over you; relief at no longer having to memorise the teachings of some old fool that frankly didn’t get out much, excitement for the drink-fuelled summer that lay ahead and comfort at the prospect of relaxing in front of your laptop surrounded by Pop Tarts following the drama of America’s finest BAU team. You decided that you never wanted to see the ‘Communist Manifesto’ again in your life. In fact, you were going to relax and unwind so much that you might even just lie still for a few hours. Fast forward to now, and what are you doing? Sure, you’re probably relaxing. I bet you’re on your bed (or in, nobody’s gonna judge you here) balancing your laptop on your knees. You haven’t really decided what you’re going to do for the rest of the day; you might go to the cinema, maybe amble in to the City, or you might even go for a jog (LOL). There’s nothing going is there? In fact, you’ve had this weird feeling the last couple of weeks that you just can’t seem to put your finger on. ‘Am I hungry?’ you think. ‘No, I’ve just had six packets of Koka noodles. Can’t be that.’ Might I be…mourning? For college? …..WHAT?
You miss having structure to your day. That’s not to stay you were the type of student that rose at the crack of dawn and planned out your day according to your lectures. Nah, you probably missed a few lectures here and there, popped in to the SU for a few pints, went home for dinner and then out for the night. You mightn't have got straight A’s but at least you had a goddamn system! Now, every day is just like this.
You miss seeing your college friends. Sure you have other friends but it’s just not the same. They don’t know what it’s like to palliate you at 3am because you need to start an essay on Irish counter-Revivalism that’s due in 6 hours. They will never understand your innate kinship with Samuel Beckett like your college friends do.
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You miss waking up to find a traffic cone in your bedroom. Or any other obtrusive object that serves as evidence of last night’s debauchery. Over time you may have bonded with said object and perhaps decorated it so it would fit in with your dorm’s furnishings. Or you might have just used it as a coat rack. Try to bring a traffic cone in to your own house and your Mammy has a shit fit. Just what is her problem? Why is she ruining your life?
Condoms. Everywhere you went in college someone wearing a devilish smile handed you a condom. ‘Ah, okay go on then!’ you’d say. You may not have used them very often (not for want, amIright guys?) but you were amassing a nice little collection in your bedside drawer. You nursed it as you would a penny or stamp collection. ‘Go out and buy some condoms’ you say? What do you think I am, made of money? It’s a recession you know.
Naps. You would think that this wouldn’t apply to people without a job but it does, trust me. Because you might have all the time in the world to go for forty winks but when you wake up you just cannot shake the feeling of guilt as well as that jet-lag feeling after a rotten nap. ‘What do I need to do for a decent nap?!’ you wail. For those with jobs, well you can just forget about nap-time altogether. All that’s left for you is a solid 8 hours at night time. Where is the justice in this world? There is none.
Living away from your parents. During the semester you could do what you wanted when you wanted. You were an independent man/woman and you could rock that onesie with a mouth full of fig rolls all year long if you wanted to. Now that you’re at home, you’re parents expect you to do ‘things’. Horrid things like washing up after yourself, making your bed, and even showering; it’s just too much. Even if you did live at home during term time, you still managed to wriggle out of your household duties. ‘Sorry I can’t help you wash up/hoover/shave your back, gotta study!’ And you ran off like the speed of light.
Of course, none of this applies if you have repeat exams to look forward to. You probably want to stretch out the summer as long as you can, so you can fit in endless Netflix marathons AND study time. So on behalf of the CT team, I bid you well in your endeavours.
