It comes to us all. An emotional obstacle course for college students, there are inevitable stages of surviving a group project. Sometimes you're just not able for them.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
1. You feel dread when your lecturer announces a group project
They may as well just have said, 'You're going to have to work three times as hard to get a good grade' and 'There's a very real possibility you may go insane over the next few weeks.'
2. Anxiety kicks in
Suddenly, 'Who will be in my group, who will be in my group?' is on a loop in your head.
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3. Fear as you start to relive past experiences
Please don't let this be like the last group assignment. Just let these be sound.
4. Denial as you flat out lie to yourself
This'll be grand, what am I even worrying about? I'll be assertive this time round and tell people if they're pi**ing me off.
*Remembers the Friends episode when Phoebe promises she'll stop taking crap off people, 'No more Mrs. Nice Bucket!'
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5. Relief when Barbara the mature student is in your group
Firsts in the bag.
6. Panic when Barbara the mature student is in your group
Realises you're going to have to do some work to get those firsts in the bag.
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7. Frustration
Organising meetings and dividing the work up becomes a project in itself. There definitely should be marks allocated for how convincing your fake smiles are when someone comes up with a stupid suggestion.
8. Confusion as urban legends come into play
There are people who are supposed to be doing work in your group but you've never actually seen evidence of this. Do they actually exist? Mind blown.
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9. Hating the person who never emails back
You've rehearsed a polite, but firm speech telling your classmate they need to pull their weight. Not a hope, you're going to do their work.
10. Hating yourself when you end up doing their work
Your faith in humanity has been put to the test big time.
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11. Exhaustion when you've finished
The day of your deadline has arrived and you've had about two hours sleep cos you were up all night doing said invisible person's work. You don't care anymore, thank god it's done.
*Swears never to do another group assignment again.
