Growing up in a house full of women you know what to expect when you go out into the real world. One man was seriously disturbed by what he saw after spending a year living with two women.
Craig Sharpe, from Kent, shared his experiences of living with his girlfriend and another woman and, of course, his experience has gone viral as thousands of people relate.
Last year, I moved in with my girlfriend and her best mate. They’re both girls. Some of the shit I’ve seen is EYE OPENING mate (a thread)
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
Here's what Craig learnt:
1. A message is not private
1. They show each other ALL of the messages that they receive from everybody. Nobody is safe. Girls don’t need screenshots mate, they have photographic screenshot memories
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
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2. Women DO have to use the bathroom for more than catch ups
2. Contrary to popular belief, girls do poo. And they ain’t scared to talk about it mate. “I NEED A POO” is probably the most used phrase in this house.
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
3. Hairclips are taking over the world, one hair strand at a time
3. HAIR CLIPS. Oh my days the hair clips. Stand on them, sit on them, wake up with them attached to your skin, mate I could have a fucking bath in the ones I find on a weekly basis
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
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4. A night out takes as much time to prepare for as a Royal Wedding
4. The process for getting ready for a night out is not just “wash, get dressed, go out”. Nah. There’s meetings, catwalk shows, endless compliments and it’s sometimes an actual 2 man job cos some dresses have back zips that would literally be impossible for one girl to reach mate
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
5. Candles are EVERYTHING.
5. Candles. We have SO MANY CANDLES. Candles that smell like really weird things, like “rhubarb and custard”. I don’t even know what rhubarb and custard actually smells like?!?
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
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6. Reality TV is the holy grail of the home
6. Kardashians. Ibiza Weekender. Ru Paul. Ex On The Beach. Love Island. Geordie Shore. Mate, I know everything about all of these people I’ll never meet. There are SO MANY EPISODES OF THEM ALL! And the worst thing is, I actually gave in and really got in to Love Island ?
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
7. If you're not maintaining your eyebrows you're not living
7. If my eyebrows aren’t “fleeky”, they literally don’t talk to me until I agree to let one of the girls pluck them. It’s mad. Girls love plucking someone else’s eyebrows. No idea why!!
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
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8. A cheat day is every day
8. Girls go on and on about dieting and “bikini bodies” etc, but trust me when I say that “cheat day” is pretty much whenever they feel sad about anything. Bad day? Glass of wine. Is it Monday? Chocolate. Did your boyfriend tell you we can’t have a dog? Dominos.
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
9. Who needs Sherlock Holmes when you have a girlfriend?
9. I know that the saying goes “girls find out everything”, but if that’s true it’s only because they are NEXT LEVEL Instagram stalkers. Seriously I mention a first name, after 5 mins on insta they know the persons dogs name, their shoe size and their national insurance number
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
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10. Wearing pajamas outside the house is completely acceptable
10. Dressing gowns. If you haven’t got a dressing gown then you are missing out mate. Some days when we’re hungover, we literally don’t get out of dressing gowns all day. The girls go Tesco in dressing gowns and nobody even cares bruv
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
11. Anything could happen at a single moments notice
11. Sometimes I sit on the sofa and just watch those two, sometimes they just look and break out in to dance or something. I literally have no idea what’s going on, there doesn’t even have to be any music playing
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
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12. Drama is 24/7
12. Everything is a massive drama. Having to wash your hair = drama. It being cold outside when you expected warm and you have to change your outfit = drama. Not being able to find an item of clothing = absolutely fucking massive drama.
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
13. There's no open door policy
13. If visitors come round, we have to know 8-10 working days beforehand so the girls can make sure that the house is clean, they’ve washed and dried their hair and they have makeup on
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
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14. Sharing is caring
14. Girls share all of the clothes. They might as well have a shared wardrobe. It’s actually gone past the point of them knowing who’s top is who’s lol
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
15. Your plug hole will resemble a baby Big Foot
15. There is so much hair everywhere mate, it’s mad. Especially around the shower, just little clumps of hair. Am used to it now tho
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 28, 2018
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After finishing the thread Craig was asked by Twitter users to reveal the identity of his roommates and revealed there's no bad blood just a lotta lotta laughs. Craig declared he loves living with the two women and they're much funnier than he is. Here are the two legends basking in the glory of knowing everyone wants to live with them:
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 29, 2018
They are the cutest!
— Craig Shapes (@craigshapes) March 30, 2018