Aoife Gray from DCU discusses life lessons.
You know the story: you get paid on a Friday, hit the old moolah machine two days later and your faced with the usual – “Insufficient funds”. Well f*ck you very much AIB. So this week, I got to thinking about economics. Now, I’m no mathematician (what’s the point when we have calculators) and I’m no David McWilliams but I’ve picked up a few tricks this week which I’d like to share with you lovely readers. Here’s a few easy ways to have a Grey Goose Lifestyle on a Dutch Gold budget. Well more like a Dutch Gold lifestyle on a Tesco Value vodka budget. But sure as the ad says, “Every little helps”.
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Child 5 Day Bus Rambler / The Luas:
Students, like rest of civilization, need to get themselves from A to B. While cars are great for getting birds and looking good, they burn in a hole in your pocket and the ozone layer (and some birds are into the whole save-the-planet thing). Thankfully we’ve got public transport and, more importantly, it’s fairly easy (although sometimes illegal) to do this on the cheap. First of all there’s the Luas – it’s quick, reliable and, for all intents and purposes, it’s free. No disrespect to the operators of this fine service but if you put in place a mode of transport which you can physically get on without buying a ticket, naturally people are going to do just this. Yes, it might be a bit embarrassing hopping off the luas along with a bunch of twelve year old boys in tracksuits the minute you see an orange jacket, but when the quids are down, dignity goes out the window.
If the Red and Green lines won’t get you to wherever it is you want to go, there’s good old Dublin bus and one of the city’s best kept secrets – the Child 5 Day Rambler. At just 7.50 for five days unlimited travel, it’s hard to deny the value of the child 5 day rambler. Although technically for patrons under the age of 16, I’ve no doubt using the ticket in your early twenties violates public transport bye-laws but, like I said, when the quids are down. Also, the ticket doesn’t actually show that it’s a child ticket the first time you use it every day, so you’ve got one free pass for those mornings when you’re hopping on the first bus home smelling of alcohol and shame, and nobody need know your thrifty little secret. And if anyone does say anything judgemental, you can always just remind them that you’re just trying to do your bit to save the planet.
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Amber Leaf Rollies/ Pall Mall 100’s
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Rollies are all the rage with “hipsters” these days, so much so that apparently you can’t even get into many hipster haunts around town without a bag of Amber Leaf in your possession and a sullen look on your face. I’m not a hipster and I’m a pathetic roller (roller of smokes, skates and whatever else you’re having). So personally, when the quids are down and I have to balance my nicotine levels, I turn to Pall Mall 100’s. Historically the cigarette of choice for 30-year-old women passing for 60-year-olds and selling strawberries on Henry street, Pall Mall 100’s are 100% pure sun-ripened tobacco (and rat poison, tar etc.) For those who don’t know 100’s are the tall cigarettes and Pall Mall are the cheapest brand on the market. While they may taste like a hobo’s shoe, they take so long to smoke that you find yourself stubbing them out half-way through and putting them back in the box. It may leave just about every hand-bag or hoodie you own stinking to high heavens but, like I said, being thrifty means making sacrifices.
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Shoulder vs Naggin
One thing us students love to do, and do so well might I add, is drink. And I don’t mean enjoying a few quiet minerals or “minnodles” as my nanny gray would say. Drinking in student terms means going on the tear, the lash or the piss and ending up in a hoola hoop, a jocker or a prison cell (or, for the majority of country students, waking up with an election poster or a traffic cone in your kitchen – must be a country thing?) Now with so many different types and brands of alcohol available it’s hard to see what makes economic sense but, from what I can see, a shoulder will always be better value per unit than a simple naggin. Now, as with all things related to being thrifty, you’ll more than likely end up paying the difference in dignity and self-respect but like I said folks, desperate times call for desperate measures.
But the biggest lesson I’ve learned this week is this – do not go out for a few quiet drinks and purchase a shoulder of vodka when you’re supposed to be in work or something college-related a few hours later. It will not end well. See the thing about going for the shoulder is that the short-term economic gain normally ends in long term loss (job, dignity etc). And when things do go straight down the proverbial shitter, sometimes the “well they didn’t have naggins” excuse really won’t cut the mustard. When it comes to gambling the house always wins and when it comes to drinking on the cheap, the shoulder always wins. Always.
So that’s it for this week folks. We’ll be back next week with more gems of wisdom and advice on all things student and life related because, at the end of the day, every day really is a school day. Even if sometimes you have to learn the hard way.
Aoife Gray
