Just 5 More Minutes... The Emotional Cycle Of Sleeping In

As tough as a long day of college can be, there is no part worse than the very beginning. You hear that alarm going off on your night-stand and suddenly there is no sound in the world you hate more. Because you know, that in a few minutes, you’re going to have to get out of that warm, toasty mess of duvets and enter the harsh, freezing cold, real world. If only there was a way…..to get…*yawn*….just five more minutes:

6:00

How are you supposed to appreciate sleep, when you’re asleep?? Here’s a crazy thought: set your alarm an hour before you actually need to get up. When your alarm goes off, you can lie there, comfortable in the knowledge that you have another hours snoozing ahead of you. Of course, that’ll only feel like five minutes, but 5 minutes is all we’re promising here! Just be sure to set your alarm again afterwards…

7:00

Urghhhh, time to get up. That dream was just getting good too. Channing Tatum/Scarlett Johannson had just confessed that they’d only starred in all of those films to impress you and only you……Hmmmm, you know, you could just skip the shower today. A bit of extra deodorant, some roll-on on the arms, legs, feet….yeah, whatever, it’ll be grand. Use some dry shampoo, if you’re feeling classy. Just five more minutes…

7:20

….arggh, crap. Ugh, OK, you need to get dressed. Well, actually…you could probably reach those clothes at the bottom of your bed. Even if they are about three days old….c’mon….c’mon…..yes! All right, now if you put those on under the covers, you’ll be dressed by the time you get up, so you can sleep in a little longer. You see, logic! Snooze….

7:25

…You can just skip breakfast, you know. If you have a chocolate bar some where you can just have that on the way in. Your stomach won’t even be awake until about 11 anyway. You don’t need food, just sleep!……Oh hell, is that bacon you smell? Is someone making a pizza in the kitchen? Hell with this, back under the covers….

7:30

….how important is brushing your teeth, really? I mean, if you have a quick glass of water and have a polo mint on the way in, you’re probably fine. That’s what the ancient Romans did before they invented toothbrushes, toothpaste and getting up late. Yeah, it’ll be fine. Just make a point of not smiling at anyone today. This next 5 minutes will be be totally worth that…

7:35

Who are you trying to impress with make-up anyway, right? It’s not like anyone is going to be paying you much attention today, considering you won’t be smiling at anyone and have flakes of dry shampoo in your hair. Whatever, go Au naturel. If Emma Watson can pull it off, you surely can as well. Guys, you probably don’t need to worry about this, you can just go back to sleep. Unless you’ve got some facial hair that needs shaving. Then wake up, realise that all great men have beards, and slump back into that pillow.

7:40

You know you can always just buy lunch in the canteen right? You don’t need to go through all the effort of making it up yourself. Oh, you’re broke? Well, that’s what friends are for right? Stealing from? Yeah, it’ll be fine. After all, your stomach still hasn’t woken up y- oh, wow, is someone putting on even more bacon?? Why is it not in my mouth while I’m sleeping?!

7:45

You definitely have all of your stuff in your bag. Yeah. You’re pretty certain you didn’t take any essentials out of it yesterday. No need to go rummaging through it to make sure you have everything. It’s fine. You definitely have all you need. Yeah….why is time moving so fast today?

7:50

Your hair is absolutely fine the way it is.

7:55

The bus takes ages anyway. Your friend can probably just drop you into college in about ten minutes, which gives you more time to sleep.

8:00

A drawback to that is that you might not have any friends, and when you realise this, you’re eventually going to have to take that brave step out of your fortress of pillows.