Whether you're a gym bunny or attempting to shift the Christmas dinner from your belly this January, the college gym will be doing its best to lure you in. We're not too keen on exercise to be honest, just like our favourite celeb slob J-Law. Here are a few of the biggest fears women experience at the gym:
Pre-Gym
Flirty Strangers
You've just entered the gym, and you've already been greeted by a weird selection of individuals. Keep to yourself unless you plan on having an awkward chat about why you're here.
Makeup
The unanswered question of our time. It's very important not to go overboard, especially with the eye makeup. Otherwise, you may end up looking like you've had a one night stand instead of a workout.
Hair
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Just tie it up. If it's too short to tie up, wear a VERY thin headband. Your hair will get sweaty and ruined, so go for the least amount of effort and maximum hold. You may think you look sexy running while your long locks flow in the breeze but, in reality, it's just a choking, sweat-harbouring hazard.
During Exercise
Other Women
We are our own worst enemies when it comes to the gym. Whether you're a bitch or not, you will judge other women on what they're wearing, doing and not doing. Nothing is more annoying than a skinny bitch who just seems to be stretching her legs in an overtly sexual manner for forty-five minutes.
Fit Men
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Pure terror ensues once you see a good-looking man in the gym. The sensible among us will deliberately stay as far away from good-looking males as possible, while admiring from behind a pillar. Flirting in the gym is not necessary - if you're there for that reason, get out now.
Exes
Again, it's time to stay well away. Stay on some simple machinery and shake that ass (subtly) towards him if you're feeling mean. Otherwise, just avoid all contact. If you usually wear glasses, blank him and blame it on poor vision.
Sweating
If you're cool as a cucumber, you should be fine in this department. But some people aren't. Before climbing onto any machinery, wipe it down for your sake and for the sake of many others. If you are attempting a spinning class of any kind, BRING A TOWEL or life will not be worth living... believe me.
Using Machinery Wrong
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Not everyone knows how to use every piece of equipment in the gym. My advice is to stay away from what you don't know and keep it basic. Otherwise, you're just wasting time having a sit-down when, instead, you could be sitting somewhere far more comfortable.
Farting
You may think most people can hold it in, but everyone who has been to the gym has smelt someone's deadly gas at some point. As you frantically try to source the culprit while trapped on a moving machine, try not to fall over or look too guilty. If you can't hold it in, try to find a bathroom. If not, stand well away from others, or behind someone you hate.
Post-Gym
Washing
If escape is your main priority once the exercise is over, move as quickly as your legs can carry you, home to your shower. Make sure to keep your gym clothes on and throw on a hoodie so you don't freeze or dirty any more clothing. If you have the bravery of a lion and plenty of time on your hands, use the gym showers. But beware, you may see more of your fellow gym buddies than you were expecting.
Red Face
Twenty minutes out of the gym, and you still look like you've been chased to college by an axe murderer. Find a windy spot and a bottle of water, to rid yourself of those crimson cheeks.
