James Lonergan
It's the scariest day of the whole year (with the exception of Easter Sunday. Zombies.) and once again we bring to you the locations that may cost you a testicle, your morality, faith in humanity or even your life. Beware, guys and girls.
The Reeperbahn
If you visit this wondrous trench of prostitutes, booze and more prostitutes and manage to come away unscathed without having multiple items inserted into your bottom involuntarily you may be left with a sense of triumph. In Hamburg, the city of the shitty, Reeperbahn prostitutes are renowned for their augmented Bavarian breasts and their ability to murder a man with their thighs. If you've ever seen Goldeneye, you'll know to steer well clear of them.
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The Screaming Bridge
Located near Doylestown, Ohio, the Screaming Bridge has apparently claimed the lives of 36 people in various accidents. Its creepy, misty exterior suggests it houses crystal meth murderers but clearly the reason for all the deaths is there is no visible end to this fucking bridge. Those of you who've played Crash Bandicoot 1 will recall the level "Mystical Bridge." The poor unfortunates met a savage end at the hands of perpetually pacing cartoon boars.
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This Lad’s Gaff
I’m not gonna lie, I’m a fan of jenga. I will say that if I had to live here I would go ahead, save the anxiety and jump out the window before the inevitable gust of wind blew my kitchen into my face. Precarious is not the word. Sandy is coming for you, my friend.
Priekestolen Cliff
Located in the vast valleys of Norway, this prominent cube of rock dominates the goats and stuff. If you’re into mass suicide while Sigur Rós is blaring through the fjords then this is for you. It's the sort of place that draws a certain type of person, the very same eejits who do not please stand back behind the yellow line while the train is approaching. Mr Iarnrod Eireann has spoken, bitches.
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Mosney
For my entire adolescent life I have tried my hardest not to think of this place. Anytime I see a swan, a slide, or a dirty swimming pool I am infinitely reminded of the terrifyingly creepy nature of this perplexing black hole. That ghost train.. I don’t think I will ever be able to look in a mirror properly. I still feel I owe a lot to Mosney. It lowered my expectations. Now when I arrive in a new city or country to find that my room is plagued with rats and rogue kidney stones I think, “No, I’m down with this. Let the rats be not my enemy, but the kin with whom I share my lunch.” Maybe the rest of you had a different experience.. Happy Halloween!
Follow James on Twitter @JohhnyDurex
