Life

17 Things Guys Should Never Say After Sex

Noooo, you did not just say that. Way to ruin it.

"I think the condom broke..."

"Ok I was only messing when I said the condom broke, I was actually only pretending I had one on in the first place..."

 

"What’s that smell?"

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"My ex taught me that one..."

 

"I’m sorry…"

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Upon returning from the jacks.."I just felt like I was pissing fire..."

 

"Wow that was just like INCREDIBLY amazing... like MIND blowingly amazingly amazing...."

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"Nice queef there in the middle of that..."

"What's your address, I need to hailo a cab asap..."

 

"Did you cum?"

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"2 secs... Just have to turn the webcam off"

"That was cool...high five?"

 

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"You’re on the pill, right?...No? Shit..."

"Em...Who are you again?"

"I'm hungry...make me something to eat."

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"Em...you’re still here?"

"You’re quite weird…you know that?!"

 

"Do you have any mouthwash?"

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"Hold on, have to answer this, it's my girlfriend..."

"We’re not telling anyone about this, right?"

"Yep, that settles it. Definitely gay."

"Do you have any underwear I can borrow?"

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Colin O'Dwyer
Article written by
Media graduate, music nut, musician and connoisseur of the skinny jean. Would've made a better Batman than Affleck!!

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