Music festivals are weird places. Don't get me wrong; they're unbelievably fun, but they have strange etiquette. There are certain things that you see at festivals that you will turn a blind eye to, but if you witnessed it anywhere else, you'd be downright disgusted.
10. Peeing wherever you damn well please.
Guys are by far the worst for this, but girls do get up to it too. Fortunately for guys, they have a much easier access and escape route planned if it all goes tits up, but girls have a much tougher challenge ahead of them when their bladder reaches full capacity! At festivals, people seem to just empty their bladders wherever they please, and it's no big deal. But if you were to see the exact same thing happen outside of that festival ambiance, you'd be pretty disgusted.
9. Drinking alcohol in broad daylight.
Obviously I'm no naive enough to think that this doesn't happen in cities everyday, but at festivals it's totally acceptable to walk around a field at 10am drinking a 6-pack of Budweiser with a shoulder of vodka as backup. Nobody would bat an eye lid, but you try that in everyday life, and at the very least your alcohol will be confiscated. At most, you'll spend the night in a cell.
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8. Going for a stroll in farmer's wellies.
This isn't even considered a "fashion faux pas." It just SHOULDN'T happen. Unless you work or live on a farm, there's simply no excuse for you wearing wellies.
7. Walking around with paint all over your face.
Leopard print face paint, and painting your face to look like a skeleton is only ever acceptable at festivals or on Halloween. Any occasion outside these and it's pretty weird...
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6. Girls vigorously grinding on some lucky lad.
What is it about festivals that sends our hormones bursting through the roof? Guys and girls just seem to be infused with an added "Oomph" which leads to some pretty awkward and embarrassing moments in public. Maybe it's the groovy, hip hop music or the festival atmosphere, but some girls love to dig their butts in and make a man "happy." Only at a festival...
5. Hunching over and pooping in a circle of your friends.
Whether it's a number 1 or a number 2, this is one of the primary tactics used by urgent toilet-goers in the middle of a festival. Who wants to give up their spot so close to the stage just to take a poo, right? Huddling your friends around you while you empty your bowels can save you from losing your place by the stage, but you won't feel good about yourself after. And please don't ever try this anywhere else, I'm not sure if it is even somewhat acceptable at festivals.
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4. Using your socks as toilet paper.
Desperation brings out the best in people. When taking a poo at a festival, you begin to compare yourself to Bear Grylls in Man Versus Wild. There's no toilet paper left (there never is) and you forgot to bring some with you. What would Bear do? Desperate times call for desperate measures. Peel off those damp white socks and wipe from front to back. It happens. You're in the middle of a wide open space so I can somewhat understand this method, but you don't have any excuse to do this outside of music festivals.
3. Eating a greasy cheeseburger at 7am in the morning.
At music festivals, your diet and eating restrictions goes sailing out the window. Time either flies by incredibly quickly or really, really slowly. You don't eat at regular times and there's no distinction between breakfast, lunch or dinner. You eat to survive and provide some stability for your drinking, and a greasy burger gifts you with the perfect soakage to fuel your weekend long bender.
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2. Drinking non-stop for a full 3 days.
Okay, so a 3 day session isn't unheard of. There are plenty of occasions like weddings and long weekends where you drink for 3 days straight. But you go to sleep in your bed and take the time to bring yourself back to neutral before hitting the drink again. At a festival, there's none of that. You wake up filthy in the middle of a field and you crack a can for breakfast to postpone your hangover til Monday and keep the session alive.
1. Engaging in a sex act in public.
Over the last 2 years we've seen what large music concerts can do to young people fueled with drink. The recent Slane and Phoenix Park gigs highlighted some unfortunate incidents. A good rule of thumb in this day and age is to stay out of sight if you absolutely cannot contain your animalistic urges any longer, because camera phones disallow you the opportunity to forget about it!
