18 Things You Say That Prove You're Turning Into An Auld One

The concept of an 'Auld One' is ill defined. In my mind an 'Auld One' is between 45 and 100, wears those head scarves and plays bingo regularly. But there are those of us that can become 'auld ones' before our time. That we, by some break in the space-time continuum, have defied the laws of nature to become a young 'auld one'. Check out our guide to find out if you're turning into an auld one. If you say any of the next 18 phrases, you're well on your way.

1 God be with the days

2 That'd be a right yoke to have around the house

The new JLB Barry Scott endorsed ceiling mop would not be a right yoke to have around the house.

3 It's well for some, and hard to be like 'em

In reference to someone getting even the tiniest upgrade in anything. 'See next door are after getting a bird feeder?''...It's well for some and hard to be like 'em.

4 Up here for dancing, down there for rock 'n' roll

Any time you do anything remotely clever. 'I see you fixed the internet what did you do, turn it on and off?''Oh, (taps head) up here for dancing...'

5 X o'clock and not a child in the house washed

Classic auld one patter.

6 Jaysus you'd be picked up before you'd fall

If a friend makes a particularly cutting jibe your automatic response is 'Jaysus you'd be picked up before you fall'.

7 Divil the bit

No idea what this means. #auldspeak

8 Lord bless us and save us

Or any exclamation of weariness using the lord's name.

9 Don't get your knickers in a twist/Hauld your horses

10 Don't talk to me

Translation: Do talk to me. A lot.

11 Come here to me

Translation: I have gossip.

12 Tell me this and tell me no more

Translation: You have gossip I wish to learn of.

13 There's great drying out

14 It's nice to get out of the house

You my friend, are an auld one.

15 The Gards wouldn't ask me that

Sassy auld one patter #1

16 Would you rob me grave as quick?

Sassy auld one patter #2

17 You say 'sugar' instead of 'shit' and 'feck' instead of 'fuck'

Ah sugar, I've lost me feckin' hearing aid. God be with the days.

18 Your reward will be great in heaven

What auld one's say when they want you to do a menial task

Also Read: 13 Ways To Hide Your Crazy From Boo