Gone are the days when you had to actually call someone on the phone to talk to them. I don't know how people did that, I still panic when I get a text from someone if I haven't texted them first. There's nothing worse than getting an unexpected text; it can scare the shit out of you, because you can never tell what type of way they meant it. What if they're actually angry, but I can't tell? Agh the confusion. There's nothing worse than getting one of these texts:
1) "Can we talk?"
Bonus points if they add on "about something" at the end, and make your heart beat ten times faster. Talk about what? When I didn't text back that Wednesday, two years ago? I'M SORRY.
2) "Can I ask you something?"
Are you asking me sarcastically? Or genuinely? I CAN'T TELL AND I'M SCARED.
3) "I have to tell you something".
You hate me and you cheated on me and my cat died. One, or any of the above suggestions, most likely.
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4) "Hey".
Who starts a conversation like that? What do you want??
5) "I heard something about you".
Laura swore she would never tell my Mam, the bitch.
6) "I'm pregnant".
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Scary whether you're a boy or girl on the receiving end of it. No one wants a baba right now.
7) "What you doing? ;)"
Get out. Now.
8) "I lost it".
This could be about anything in the world and it will freak the fuck out of you.
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9) "I can't believe you!"
WHAT WHAT DID I DO??
10) "*insert your name* is such a bitch".
The worst kind of wrong number text to get. YOU'RE a bitch.
11) "Don't tell anyone but..."
Please do not trust me with secrets. I will panic, sweat and die.
12) "Call me".
No, I don't want toooo whyyyyyy.
13) "I think we need to break up".
Saving the best till last. So harsh. What did I do to deserve this hideous text?
