Greetings to everyone who clicked onto this article, the majority I assume are procrastinating students. This is a safe place, nobody is judging you - procrastinate away!
I have compiled a list of things I have found myself doing in a futile attempt to avoid the inevitable and number one on that list is to write a whole article (with carefully selected pictures might I add) when I should be studying #PrayforKate.
1) Fight McGregor
I’ve watched Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood music video about 100 times so I think I know a thing or two about MMA. Also, he’s newly become a parent so I think he’ll take it easy on me. No cage fight could compared to the absolute bashing I’m going to get from these exam papers.
2) Stop and talk to the charity worker
Possibly the most annoying people on the streets. The young, upbeat usually good looking concern/goal/trocarie gang that try to stop you when you’re walking. I think the charity thing is great, it’s just the evasion of personal space I don’t like. One day I’ll stop, until then I’ll donate my spare change and pick up the pace.
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3) Go on Tinder on national television
…and win.
4) Dye my hair pink
It takes half an hour to put the dye in and 25 minutes to wash it out. That is an entire hour of your day not studying.
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6) Google how many calories are in a 99 ice cream
And eat it anyway #noragrets
7) Get my passport photo taken
Admittedly nobody likes getting their passport photo taken. It’s sorta awkward and strange and they never turn out that great (if you have a nice passport photo then we can’t be friends). And yet, I would rather stand in front of a pull down white blind in the middle of boots than study.
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8) Watch 13 Reasons Why backwards
Why you might ask, well I’ve already watched it the correct way. I think that if you were to watch it backwards the story would be more palatable and have a happier ending. Clearly,I’m still not over it #welcometoyourtape
True story: Today I paid cold hard cash for a lady to tediously extract facial hair from one of the most sensitive areas of the body… Or more commonly known as plucking eyebrows. Still less painful than studying.
10) Hussle for that muscle
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I have a love/hate relationship with the gym but surprising I get very into my personal fitness just around exam season. Definitely a pro at crastinating.
11) Tell everyone how much I have to study
My college group chat consists a lot of “I’m so screwed… I’ve done nothing… When are repeats again… Asking for a friend…”
12) Read self help books
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If I am aware and intune with my inner self the answers in the exam will come to me… Right? #whyamIlikethis
13) Assemble IKEA furniture
Yes, that’s right: I would rather construct a desk than sit at one. I’ll go one step further and say I wouldn’t even read the instructions. The desk chair in the picture below? I assembled that by myself one day INSTEAD OF STUDYING. It took me hours...maybe even days.
14) Post a selfie on Instagram and get 0 likes
It would be less of a knock to my self esteem than these exams.
In all seriousness though, education, exams and study are important. Work hard, pray hard and play hard and I think we’ll all be okay. Mammy has the candle lit.