I was planning on beginning this post with some overly-wrought breakdown of the phrase 'lovely weather for ducks'. However, having Googled the idiom to check its precise phrasing and perhaps find a little bit more about it, the first thing to appear was a brief extract from an article which read: 'Despite conventional thinking, rain is not lovely weather for ducks, because the rain washes away the oil in their feathers that lets them float'.
This was such a profoundly dispiriting piece of information and, weighed down by the image of a river-full of ducks, bobbing about in the rain, each slowly, stoically, sinking lower in the waterline like so many Titanics - but Titanics with beaks, I abandoned the endeavour altogether. Instead, let us cut straight to the nub of the issue that's brought us here; the imminent shittening of the weather.
I'm gonna level with you, the weather is about to get increasingly piss poor over the next 24 hours or so, before reverting to its - thanks to global warming - increasingly pleasant mid-Irish-spring mean.
By way of warning us of this, Met Éireann has issued a series of weather warnings so that we all may take appropriate measures; which, for me, simply involves the writing of a perfunctory article covering this announcement.
Status Orange - Wind warning for Clare, Cork, Kerry and Limerick
Valid: Friday 26 April 2019 16:00 to Saturday 27 April 2019 05:00 pic.twitter.com/kxklPySnY8
— Met Éireann (@MetEireann) April 25, 2019
Wind warnings have been issued due to - and anyone who knows will tell you that I don't use this phrase lightly - the colossal North Atlantic based cyclone Storm Hannah, working it's way toward Ireland. There has been a status orange wind warning issued for several Southern counties, including Clare, Cork, Kerry and Limerick. This warning is in effect from tomorrow, Friday at 16:00 until Saturday at 05:00. There has also been a status yellow wind warning issued for numerous other counties from tomorrow, Friday at 23:00 to Saturday morning at 09:00 which, rather than listing them all, I shall simply direct you to the below Tweet from Met Éireann.
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Status Yellow - Wind warning for Connacht, Carlow, Kildare, Kilkenny, Laois, Longford, Wexford, Wicklow, Offaly, Donegal, Tipperary and Waterford
Valid: Friday 26 April 2019 23:00 to Saturday 27 April 2019 09:00 pic.twitter.com/8Xb8ugGR4N
— Met Éireann (@MetEireann) April 25, 2019
Met Éireann has described the weather to be going through a 'disturbed phase' - which, for me, expressed itself during a phase at the age of 14 when I isolated myself in my room playing Pro Evolution Football on the Playstation while also listening to My Chemical Romance's discography on heavy rotation, but for the weather appears to manifest itself by getting sufficiently gusty to necessitate the issuing of storm warnings.
