So you couldn't feel any worse. You've hit rock bottom and it's as though the sun has gone behind a cloud and will probably never come out again. You want to get under the duvet and cry yourself to sleep for the fourth night in a row but instead, you have to pretend to be ok and act as though it was a mutual decision when really, you know the truth isn't even remotely like that. Take a breath, go outside and read this. Here's some advice to the girl who's just had her heart broken for the first time:
1) It will get better, that's a guarantee.
Things now seem as bad as they ever will be, I get that. You probably have zero interest in doing anything, seeing anyone, in making plans or having fun. You might not even have an appetite but one of these days you're going to wake up and feel hungry and want to do something fun and eventful with your day and that's the day when you realise that things can and will get better.
2) He was one hundred percent not right for you.
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If he was the right one for you, you would still be together, that's not even a reassurance, that's just a fact. He wasn't the right one for you and by being with him you're just preventing yourself from finding someone who is completely right for you. Think of it as a blessing, not a curse.
3) Stay well clear of soppy films right about now.
Watching The Notebook isn't the best idea at this fragile moment in time. Instead, stick on a violent slasher film, a mindbending sci-fi or basically anything without romance involved in order to distract yourself and momentarily transport you to a different world. Say no to romance and yes to violence (in the film form, that is). We're not condoning you to hire out a hitman....
4) Talk it out with someone you can trust, it'll unburden you hugely.
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Keeping something this huge to yourself will just make things ten times worse, ten times more dramatic and more heartbreaking. Talk to someone, anyone. A friend you can really, truly trust, an older sister, a cousin, your Mother, whoever. Sit down, have a cup of tea and a good cry and just let all of the tension and stress out of your body. Not only will you feel so much better afterwards, but you'll probably get some good advice too.
5) Keep yourself as busy as possible.
You might feel like doing absolutely nothing except sitting around feeling sorry for your life and crying at tv ads containing any form of puppies, but the more you sit around and obsess over what happened, why it happened and what you could have done differently, the more you're going to torture yourself. Make plans with friends, visit family, go to town, go for a walk/ run, buy a festival ticket to give yourself something to look forward to, pamper yourself. Be good to you, starting now. Treat yo'self girl, you've earned it.
6) Don't try and get him back, you're better than that.
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It ended for a reason, so now the very best thing you can do is put him in the past, leave him there and try your hardest to move on. Remember the quote, 'you can't discover the next chapter until you stop re-reading the previous one' and keep it in your mind always. You're purely preventing yourself from moving on, from finding true happiness again, not to mention that it makes you look a little desperate. You're better than that and he's just an idiot not worthy of your time or attention.
7) Know your music preferences and listen to them accordingly.
I've been told that there are three variations of music every girl going through a breakup should be listening to. Adele, for those moments when you just need a good hard cry. Taylor Swift for when you're feeling a bit better but still need a little reassurance that you're not the only one out there with a broken heart. And then, best of all, the stage when you're finally starting to get your groove back, Beyonce. After all, who needs men, girls can rule the world don't you know? All hail Queen Bey. Now, put your hands up...
8) And always remember, chocolate cures everything.
No, seriously, EVERYTHING. Get the girls over for a bitching about boys session, get the most amount of chocolate you can possibly get your hands on, get the kettle on and get through that mound in as timely a fashion as is humanly possible. Ben & Jerry have cured many's a heartbreak down through the years and yours is no exception.
Just remember, you're going to be fine, learn from this and find yourself in a much better place very soon. Oh yeah, and being single is fucking brilliant, just so you know. <3
