You thought you had told your story for the last time when you were sixteen and people were finally getting their heads around the idea of you being attracted to people of the same sex. Then, just as you're starting a new life for yourself in college you realise, "Fuck, I'm going to have to tell all these stupid bastards as well". For when that happens, here are some truths about what it's like to come out in college...
1) Be prepared for the sex questions.
How does gay sex work? Is it good? Have you ever had a threesome? I kid you not, these are just a few examples of the questions you'll be asked during your interrogation. Honestly though, it's better if they ask. If they don't, it's probably because they're afraid you'll lure them into having gay sex with you with your gay powers.
2) You'll have way more choice than before.
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Speaking from experience, coming out in your hometown is nothing like coming out in a big city. The options back home are so fucking limited but in college, the world is your oyster. Gay clubs and societies, gay nightclubs and bars, gay events around campus; basically, it's harder to resist temptation now than it is was before. And it's fucking great.
3) It feels like a burden off your shoulders.
Even though you might be totally fine with no-one knowing about your overwhelming desire to smash every girl you walk past, it'll feel good confiding in someone. Or everyone. Whichever.
4) Your housemates probably won't be that shocked.
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If you live with someone long enough, you start to get a real sense of that person. If you've been living with your housemates for longer than two weeks, chances are they know you're gay already. Us gays like to think it's some massive secret that we're so good at hiding but in reality, most people knew we were gay before we even knew ourselves.
5) You may get emotional.
It's a Thursday night leading up to a bank holiday weekend, you're not going to see your friends for at least four days, you've had far too much vodka and you've started on the cider; now is the perfect time to confess your gay ways. If they take it well, you'll cry tears of joy and relief. If they storm out and never want to see you again, you'll cry tears of sorrow and loss. Either way, someone will come along and refill your glass, and order will be restored again.
6) College is full of gays already.
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If you're from a small town you might've been the only gay on your street, or even in your whole community. It's not like that in college. Be prepared to be dethroned and kicked to the curb because there will be a bigger, gayer student out there that's already called dibs on the tiara.
7) It's also full of people who sometimes "wish" they were gay.
These are the people who assume naively that being gay is so much more fun that being straight. We can wear rainbow colours all the time, we have an annual week of celebrating who we fuck, AND requesting that the DJ play YMCA is never frowned upon. Or else they've just seen Ruby Rose.
8) You will be used for experimentation purposes.
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"I think I might be gay... Will you help me figure it out?" You'll be so used to hearing those words that you'll already be reapplying your Vaseline before they've finished speaking.
9) Surprising people by not "dressing gay" is always fun.
When people know you're gay, they tend to expect you to wear certain things to match your sexuality. "Aha, there's Sarah in her checked shirt again." Jazz it up and freak them out by wearing a crop top and high-waisted jeans. Mindfuck the lot of them.
10) False hope will be an everyday reality.
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No-one will understand the sheer disappointment of spending a week grafting this girl from Spanish class only to realise she's completely and utterly straight. No-one understands me anyway. *listens to emo music*
11) You'll always be a prime target during Never Have I Ever.
Because you, my friend, have the most interesting sex life at the table. Own it.
12) You'll still run into the odd homophobe.
That's inevitable and is something you should get used to while you're young. No matter where you go in life there will be haters that are gonna hate hate hate, but you know what you have to do? Shake it off, shake it off, off off...
13) But, on the whole, no-one cares who you're fuc...loving
Because they're all too busy getting some as well.
