If somebody - perhaps a dear friend - were to approach you and say, "How 'bout me and you purchase ourselves a couple of cinema tickets, with all the trimmings," - and we take their use of the phrase 'all the trimmings' to mean 'popcorn and accompanying soft-drink', then you should have but one reply. You should look them in the eye, straight into the window of their soul, and say, "But, dear friend, don't you know that Ryanair have taken the, admittedly fiscally reckless decision, to launch their third massive flight sale in as many weeks? Don't you know that, for the humble price of a normal cinema ticket - in most omniplex cinemas throughout this country - and an extortionately-priced popcorn and drink combo, we could purchase return flights to 'The Algarve of England', 'The Landlocked Cote D'Azur', 'The Eurosaver Monaco' - The East Midlands?"
After your friend expresses to you the fact that they have no desire whatsoever to visit the East Midlands, whereas they do have quite a large desire to go see the limited re-release of Big Momma's House 2, it is your duty to chastise them, for their warped priorities. You should tell them that, for the majority of human history, it was inconceivable to all who lived that we, we humans, would one day be able to join the birds among the clouds in flight. That they owe it to their predeceased ancestors, who would surely only be able to look on with pure envy at their ability to travel to anywhere the world within a matter of hours, to make the most of the opportunities that they never knew. Tell your friend that is their duty to all those who've gone before them - all those who toiled in mud and soil, covered in a mixture of their own excrement, and the excrement of an array of farmyard animals and from some of their 17 children, who could never have imagined the miracles of flight would one day become possible - to purchase a return flight to England's East Midlands regional airport at a starting cost of €17.94.
After all this toing and froing and accusations about the cleanliness of their ancestors, it can only be presumed that you can no longer call on this person as a friend. As such, you'll need something to help you get over this loss - like a holiday! Thankfully, this afore-alluded to Ryanair sale can assist here. They have launched a 20% sale on over 80,000 summer seats, with flights available for - you guessed it - 20% cheaper, to the majority of their usual destinations.
If you're looking to book a trip anytime between 29 May 2019 and 30th September 2019, to a large European metropole which has an airport serviced by Ryanair, then you my friend need only shoot your chuff onto Ryanair's website to make that dream a reality.
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Offer end midnight on Tuesday, May 28th so get booking.
