Men lie a lot. Most of the time, it's for self-preservation. In many situations, if guys didn't lie they'd end up on the receiving end of a dagger... or worse still, prolonged eye-daggers. Sometimes, guys lie to spare your feelings. And then there's the fact that men lie to cover their own asses. Here are 10 lies that literally every man tells.
1. "You Look Fine"
Classic. To be fair, if you don't use this lie, you run the risk of being murdered. Self-preservation at any cost.
2. Sexual History
This is one of those universal lies. A general rule of thumb is to keep the number below 10. Simple stuff really. If you're at 30 or 40, keep that shit on the down-low.
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3. "No, I Don't Fancy Your Mate"
Yeah, lads lie about this. We find your mates attractive, all of them. It's a lie for your own good, so take it easy! We're doing you a favour here. We know you love to hear how ugly other girls are.
4. Excuses To Get Out Of Occasions
"Ah no seriously, I can't go for dinner with your parents, I've got 5-a-side football and my boss is playing." Bullshit. He doesn't want to go and he's looking for any excuse to get out of it. Why would he want to make awkward small talk with your weird parents?
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5. STD Checks
Lying about having STD scares/checks/treatments is standard procedure. Let's be honest, if you had the clap, you're not going to advertise it, are you? You can't blame us really!
6."I Don't Know What We're Doing Tonight"
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If your man says this, he's more than likely lying to you. He knows what he's doing, but he also knows you won't approve. Don't freak out though, he's probably just getting shit-faced with the boys!
7. "I Noticed You First"
When your boyfriend says he noticed you before all of your other friends, he may be telling the truth... Nah, he's lying. If you were out with all your friends, he probably clocked your mad fit friend who's been taken for years. Shit times.
8. It'll Be A Quiet One
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Lies. When he says he's only going for one or two, he's actually going out on the lash until the wee hours. By Irish standards, one or two generally means "I'm out for the night."
9. "My Family Really Like You"
Speaking from experience, there is generally very little chance of this being true. To be fair, you aren't going to just come out and say "Yeah my mother isn't too sure if you're right for me and my sister thinks you're a bona fide idiot." Lies of kindness yo!
10. I Love You
A guy will lie about loving a girl if he wants something from her. But, usually, the primary incentive is fear. When the girl says it first, the guy can feel cornered. We don't want to hurt you, so we lie to spare your feelings! Brownie points? No? Ok then.
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