College is a weird time. Especially when it comes to relationships and love. In the adult world, there are three stages in a persons life relationship-wise; single, it's complicated or taken. In college there are around 10 stages before a real relationship is formed. Single, acquaintances, one time fling, kinda maybe kissing, regular hook-up, exclusive, talking about being in a relationship, Facebook official, and finally, in a relationship. Then comes the after relationship stages. Dying relationship, friendly exes, extremely friendly exes (this one is never good, you're exes for a reason), and soon, mortal enemy exes. Here are 10 things people wish they knew about relationships when they were in college.
1. You can't win them all.
Chin up gal, there will be a few "one's that got away" in college, and thats OK. College is a time for experiencing all that the world has to offer, and sometimes you'll be more into someone than they're into you. The main thing is to not try to change yourself for that person. Another trap is thinking this guy is “perfect” for you. The fact that he isn’t actually with you is all the proof you need that this isn’t exactly a match written in the stars. Be thankful for the memories, and just move on to bigger and better things.
2. Don't give up on your friends when a guy comes into the picture.
Classic mistake of a lot of college girls. The second the 'dream man' comes into the picture, she ditches her crew. The absolute worst thing you can ever do is abandon the people in your life for a guy. When you’re young and in love for the first time, trading in everything that used to make you happy for a guy you love seems like a small price to pay. In reality, it’s a major sacrifice that brings a lot of consequences, both to your social life and your sense of self. Don't abandon your girls, girl.
Advertisement
3. It's not worth it if all you do is fight.
If you aren't married and you don't have kids, you shouldn't have to keep trying to fix your relationship. After all, you can only fix so much. At some point you need to give it up, move on, and remember that if it's meant to be, you'll get back together. What's for you won't pass you.
4. Don't move in together because you think it will save you money or because you have no one to live with.
Advertisement
The number one (and only) reason you should move in with your significant other, is if you're completely ready for that step. Never rush into living with your other half because of money issues or any other issues of the sort. College you is still learning and living, so enjoy it before shacking up.
5. Work on yourself.. and keep working.
A lad is never the missing ingredient in your life. Being in a relationship won’t make you whole, and it won’t heal your pain. A good relationship can certainly enhance these areas, but it can never fill that space entirely. Your focus should always be on being your best self and pushing through anything holding you back from getting what you want out of life. The work doesn’t stop when you’re in a relationship. A lot of girls see relationships as some sort of finish line or destination and allow themselves to slip into complacency once they’re there. Don't let that be you.
Advertisement
6. Don't believe everything guys say.
Especially in college. College lads are usually only after one thing, and they'll say anything to get it. It’s not that men flat out lie, it’s just that they express themselves much more through actions than words. For example, if a guy is telling you he cares about you, but acting in a way that indicates he couldn’t care less, then the truth is he most likely doesn’t feel that strongly about you. This is what causes girls to feel like lads are sending mixed messages. Live by the mantra "actions speak louder than words," and you should be fine.
7. If someone wants to be with you, they will be with you.
Advertisement
The movie "He's Just Not That Into You," has already shown us the harsh reality that if a guy likes you, he'll make it happen. You won't have to listen to excuses like "I'm too busy for a relationship" or "I wouldn't be a good boyfriend/girlfriend." You won't have to over analyse comments like "I'm not into you," which always means they're actually just not into you. If two people are into each other, they will be together. Sure, love sometimes isn't enough, but it's enough to at least spark an exclusive relationship, no work necessary.
8. Don't compare your love life to anyone else's.
It doesn't matter if you feel like "everyone is single" or "everyone is in a relationship." You need to do you. If it takes you longer than your friends to find that special someone, then so be it. And if you find that special someone before any of your friends and get into a serious relationship, then whatever. Life is different for everyone. Go with it.
9. Don’t let what you think others might think, have an effect on who you go out with.
Advertisement
What anyone else thinks, might think, or doesn’t think should never hinder you from taking a chance at love. If the relationship isn’t a bad one for you and you’re just afraid of what others think, you’ll end up missing out on some great experiences. Don't say no to that lad just because you're afraid he won't get on well with your group of friends. Take those crazy chances, because now is a great time to do so. In the end, others might not actually be thinking what you imagine them to be.
10. Calm down.
You are exactly where you are meant to be. You don’t have to have your love life figured out, you're in college, you're lucky if you have any part of your life figured out. Enjoy it. Your relationships with your friends are the most important usually, so hold on tightly to them. If you’re on the roller coaster of college relationships, you might as well throw your hands up in the air and smile (even through the scary parts) because you don’t know where that hidden camera might be, and you want to look fabulous!
