Is there ever a good time to see your ex? When you're not expecting it, you're one hundred percent more likely to look like total and utter shit and when you are, you'll be such a bag of nerves that you won't be able to concentrate on anything and will probably get plastered in order to cope. Whether it ended amicably or atrociously, seeing one another is never a pleasant or an easy thing to go through. Here are thoughts a girl has when she sees her ex;
1) He looks really, really good. Has he always looked that good?
2) Who the hell is she? And why is she so hot?
3) Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
4) What do I say that sounds cool but nonchalant at the same time?
5) And now to make my life sound as exciting as possible...
6) I wonder if I've put on weight since I last saw him..
7) Maybe this dress is too prostitute-y.
8) I really wish I hadn't creeped on him so intensely. Now, everything he tells me will be old news and I'm afraid he's going to know that just by looking at me.
9) I really wish I hadn't deleted him in such a huff. What if he mentions it..
10) Good God his new girlfriend is so skinny. What does that say about me?
11) Should I act as though I haven't seen him?
12) What if I'm far drunker than I think I am and I slur every word in front of him? He'll think I'm drinking to cope with the loss.
13) Laugh. I must laugh and look like I'm having fun.
14) Why the actual fuck did I just wave at him?
15) I swear to God if any of the girls leave me alone for even three minutes, I will lose my mind.
16) What if they start on him and reveal all of the shit I cried to them about?
17) Better keep them as far away as is humanly possible just in case.
18) I must never forget that he has a teeny tiny penis.
19) If only everyone else knew the same thing. They wouldn't be laughing at his stolen jokes and smutty humour.
20) Dear GOD is there something in my teeth?
21) Please stop being so red and embarrassing cheeks. Act calm and cool.
22) Is it really inappropriate and desperate looking if I pull tonight?
23) Was that walk too obvious, too drunk or just right? And did he even notice?
24) What was I actually thinking? What even are you?
