32 Memories From Primary School

"An Bhfuil Cead Agam Dul Go Dtí An Leithreas?"

Most important phrase of your childhood.

 

"Téigh A Choladh"

And this was the extent of your knowledge of the Irish language by the time you left primary school.

 

Calling Your Teacher Mammy/Daddy

The single most embarrassing thing that could happen to you at this age.

 

Nearly Dislocating Your Arm Trying To Get Picked

And making yourself as small as possible when you didn't.

 

Fingers On Lips

Your teacher usually blackmailed the class into being quiet by threatening to cancel P.E. or something similar if you weren't quiet.

 

Chasing

I still can't get my head around how I ran non-stop for half an hour every day, with no breaks, and never get tired.

 

Pokemon/Yu-Gi-Oh Cards

Two of the biggest crazes that people born in the 90s lived through.

 

Terrible School Tours...

Usually to some really boring local information centre or museum.

 

...And Then The One Good One At The End Of The Year

The big deal in my school was in 6th class we got to go to Carlingford Adventure Centre. Roughly 356 times better than all of the stupid trips to the stupid educational centres combined.

 

Forcing Your Parents To Sit Through Terrible Christmas Plays

You spent months preparing for these plays, memorising lines and preparing costumes. But if you think back to them, just imagine how bad they must've looked.

 

Getting To Wear Your Own Clothes On The Last Day Before Christmas

Obviously this only applies to school's that had a uniform, and I feel sorry for those that didn't and never got to feel this excitement.

 

Elastic Ties

Again only for those with uniforms, Mammies everywhere would be horrified when you broke it using it as a missile.

 

Everyone Getting A Selection Box For Kris Kindle...

Boring and all as it was to give as a present, it was exactly what I wanted every year.

 

...And The Teacher Having Back-Ups For The Kids Who Inevitably Forgot To Bring Theirs In

Teachers were effectively just our parents from 9 to 3, so this is no surprise.

 

Spelling Tests

Those were the days, when all that was required to pass a test was to know how to spell 20 words, and make sure all of the letters you wrote were facing the right way.

 

Insisting That Your Artwork Be Put On The Fridge At Home

A litre of PVA glue went into making that masterpiece, there's no way you're letting that go to waste.

 

Not Being Allowed To Swap Food At Lunch

Because who knows what any student was allergic to. Or maybe it was something to do with hygeine. I can't remember. All I know is I used to swap my biscuits with my friend for his chocolate bar regardless. That's right, I'm a badass.

 

The Foot And Mouth Scare

I have no idea how anyone who lived in a suburb in Dublin would have any contact with any live cattle, but we still had to walk over those weird disinfected carpets for a couple of months.

 

Gold Stars EVERYWHERE

Get 10/10 in your spelling test? Gold star. Answer a question right? Gold star. Téigh a choladh the fastest? You guessed it, gold star. Teachers spent and continue to spend thousands of euro every year on gold stars.

 

Sports Day

More competitive than the Olympics.

 

Being Burned Alive By Savlon When You Fell In P.E.

Disinfectant my ass. There's was acid in that bottle.

 

The Kid With The Smelly Lunch

Very very smelly. You always empathized with the person sitting next to them.

 

Tara & Ben/Alive-O/Letter Land

Some of the great books that were part of the primary school experience for most people.

Knowing Everyone's Birthday Because It Was On The Chart

I still remember the birthdays of some of the people in my primary school class, and I know I'm not the only one.

 

Injections

The only benefit to getting injections was that you got some sort of chocolate bar or sweets to keep you quiet.

 

Practising To Receive Your First Holy Communion With Chocolate Buttons

Or practising with wafers, if your school was mean.

 

Getting Ridiculously Excited When You Got Picked To Bring Something To The Office

Most of the arm dislocations happened when the teacher asked for a 'helper', which could be to do anything from cleaning the blackboard to bringing something to another classroom, or the office, as outlined above.

 

When The TV Trolley Was Wheeled Into Class

With projectors in every classroom and broadband internet, primary school children of today will never experience this excitement.

Being Really Embarrassed At Sex Ed.

The uncontrollable laughter made it impossible for the teacher to do much work. Not that it mattered, most people had the gist of how things worked down there by this stage.

Circle Time!

Moving the desks against the walls, rearranging the chairs, someone usually started messing during all of this activity and ended up not being allowed to take part.

 

No Homework On Fridays

The single biggest shock when you entered secondary school is that you had to do work over the weekend.

 

No Homework On Birthdays

And it was so annoying when your birthday fell on the weekend, or during the summer. Especially considering no one had any sympathy for you.