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11 Signs You're Dating An A**hole

So, my date is over and it was the most grueling hour of my life. If only I knew what an utter a**hole he was before I went. I thought he was a nice guy…but oh christ was I wrong. To think I was actually excited to go a mere three hours ago...

In order to prevent any of you from having this awful experience or prevent you from staying with the loser, here's our 11 Signs Your Date Is An A**hole.

1. HE’S LATE

In some serious circumstances this is acceptable but he didn't even phone or text you. I was left sitting there alone at a table...this is not okay.

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2. HE MAKES YOU FEEL AWKWARD

He arrives...eventually. In a panic you get up and lean in for a friendly hug. Instead of hugging back he stands still and it is very very awkward.

3. HE'S DRESSED INAPPROPRIATELY

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Now, I know MAO isn't a five star restaurant, but there is no need to arrive like you just walked off the beach. We're in Ireland mate...are you trying to piss me off?

4. HE ORDERS FOR YOU

The waitress comes over and since you have been staring at that menu for a solid 30 minutes you know what you want. But no...that would be too simple..he decides to order for you. This is very patronizing and very confusing...

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5. HE TALKS ABOUT HIS EX

I decide to side step this blunder and give the eejit a second chance. He decides to go on a 10 minute rant about how his ex-girlfriend is "gagging for him". Even with my unimpressed glare, he still proceeds to tell me about his ex but he doesn't mind it too much as "she's a gorgeous looking girl". COME ON!

6. HE'S TEXTING HIS FRIENDS

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He takes out his phone...already very rude...and starts breaking his s***s laughing. I try to play the laid back cool girl, even though I am fuming: "what's so funny?" "It's just the lads whatsapp group...you wouldn't understand"...don't be so rude.

7. HE HAS NO MANNERS

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CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED...please.

8. HE'S TOO PRESUMPTUOUS

Clearly, I am not feeling this date. But, low and behold, the cocky bastered assumes I'm into him. He also assumes that I'm easy...fantastic.

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9. HE HAS NO MONEY

I begin to get up and walk away. He shouts back at me...even though I left a perfectly good €10 note, covering my half of the bill, on the table. "I've no money!". I simply give him a filthy and keep walking.

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10. HE FOLLOWS YOU AND LANDS A KISS ON YOU

11. HE'S AGRESSIVE

I've made my point and proceed to get in my car and leave the scene of the crime...but not without some hard hitting abuse.

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GET INTO YOUR CAR AND LEAVE!

If he's late, talks about his ex, makes you pay and is too presumptuous, then yes, you are on a date with an A**hole. Run while you still can!

DON'T FEEL DEFEATED:

JUST REMEMBER:

 

Lauren Rol
Article written by
Lauren Rol: A UCD graduate who spends most of her time watching the Soaps. A devout fan of Chinese food and a French Bulldog obsessive.
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