If you've just gotten out of a long-term relationship (or an extremely intense short-term relationship), you’re probably feeling a little bit like the end of the world in sweat pants. Like you’re never going to be happy again. That no one, no matter how good their intentions, can make you forget what you’ve lost. If you’ve ever felt that way, or if you’re feeling that way right now, here are some things that you should never, ever do. Don't;
1) Watch Movies Alone
One of the first instincts people have when they've broken up is to retreat into their comfort zone and watch some of their favourite movies while eating Ben and Jerry's. And while the B&J is fine, resist the lure of movies, if you know what's good for you. Unless you’re a horror enthusiast, your comfort films are all going to be romantic comedies, or at least a movie with a romance sub-plot in it. Which is going to make you depressed. You might think to yourself, “It’s fine, Dumb and Dumber isn't a romantic movie.” But those scenes where they’re on a snow date? They’ll kill you. That should be me.....
2) Keep Mementos
A lot of people come out of a relationship and will cling to things their boyfriend/girlfriend gave them. There might be years of sentimental value built up behind that scarf/photo/signed autograph from Ed Sheeran. But if you keep them around, you'll find yourself stopping to look at them for hours at a time. You'll think about your ex, get nothing done and basically just be miserable for ages. If you can't bring yourself to get rid of them, pack them in a box and leave them in your parents attic. Somewhere out of reach so you'll never see it by accident.
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3) Become A Hermit
It's obvious that you shouldn't spend time alone if you can help it, after a break up. But by the same token, don't surround yourself with serious, emphatic friends either. All they'll do will put on a really concerned face and constantly ask you what you want to do. Considerate, sure, but depressing as fuck too. Surround yourself with people who don't give a shit, who'll actually give you the kick up the ass you need and say "Get back out there!". Those people won't give you the time to sit back and feel sorry for yourself, it'll be just constant fun fun fun. (It sounds exhausting, but it's way better in the long run.)
4) Fall Into Old Habits
Whether it's the sort of thing you and your girlfriend/boyfriend used to do, or even things you do when you're bored on your own, try to break the habit. Doing something new and different on a regular basis takes you out of the frame of mind you used to be in, which in turn, allows you to move on faster. The best case scenario would be to get a new job or start a new college course, but that's understandably a tricky thing to do. Instead, just take up a new hobby, one that takes up a lot of your time. It might seem like an awful lot of effort, but it greatly speeds up the healing process.
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5) Get Lazy
It's all too easy to get into a state of "fuck it" after breaking up with someone. Why bother eating well? Why exercise? Why bother even going out? Do not fall out of those habits, otherwise it makes it so much harder to get back on the ball further down the line. Plus, if keep looking after yourself, there's more of a chance of you getting hit on. It might not be what's on your mind right away, and you might not get hit on by people you're interested in. But it'll at least dispel any thoughts of "nobody gives a shit about me" that might invade your mind if you become a lazy do-nothing with a hairy face/back/ both.
6) People-Watch
While surrounding yourself with people is important, it's not advisable to walk through crowded places either. The last thing you need is to see are extreme PDAS, seeing couples being adorable and basically making you feel like crap is not what you need right now. Even though there's only one couple per 20 people or so, you'll still have irrational thoughts like "how is everyone happily seeing people except me?" Avoid busy places, don't linger and if you absolutely have to walk through them, keep your eyes down at your feet. That way, you'll get from A to B without accidentally seeing a pair of C's acting like D's.
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7) Live On Facebook
If you get dumped by someone, the temptation to just stalk them online can get pretty strong. "I'll just see if they've hooked up with anyone else" you'll tell yourself. But because you're in a fragile state, you'll read into every single little detail on their profile, convinced that they've already forgotten about you. If you see anyone has left a comment on their page, you'll torture yourself, wondering if they've actually hooked up or not. Even if the comment could be something as harmless as "are you heading to the party later?" but you'll still feel like shit. And who knows, they might have hooked up. It's best to simply go online only to check notifications and then just stay away from all temptation.
8) Listen To Music In Your Room
Even worse that watching movies alone, this inevitably just leads to you lying on your bed, listening to songs that remind you of them and eventually having the most shameful wank in your existence. Tears will be involved. Just don't do it. Only listen to upbeat tunes, and even then, only on the way to work or something.
9) Make A Voodoo Doll Of Your Ex
No matter how tempted you are, don't steal some of their hair, wrap it in a home-made doll and practice voodoo on them. It might seem like the obvious way to go, giving you full control of the entire situation with no obvious consequences. Having said that, it won't help the situation, because it breaks so many of the rules established here already. You'll be dwelling on their lives, you'll undoubtedly become a hermit and the doll itself very obviously acts as a memento for your relationship. So even though you've heard this in every list about break-ups before, this advice holds true: don't make a voodoo doll of your ex.
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