So you got the score over the weekend.
You hit it off straight away. He seems to really 'get' you. You've been waiting to meet someone like him all your life. You spend the night together back in his supposedly drinking tea, but really doing a whole lot more. He asks you for your number. You sail home all on a high. Sunday no word, but not to bother.. that's normal. Monday comes and having checked your phone 50 times by 1 PM you are convinced it's all over and you were had…..
You want to text him and tell him how you knew he was an asshole and that if he wasn't interested he shouldn't have led you on.
Phone in hand over a plate of consolatory chips in Mc Donalds just as you are about to hit send, your friend stops you.
'You need to read the guide' she says. Pulling a piece of folded paper out of her pocket she introduces you to the 'Will He/Wont He Call Code - What to expect from him depending on what day he texts'.
Sunday Evening
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- Oh he's a keeper. The friendly 'How's the head, thanks for an amazing night' is a winner indeed. Expect this man to make you hot chocolate, let you have all the covers and be an all round gem. If you want that kind of thing this is great. If you want a bit of spark and drama, he won't deliver.
Monday Evening
- This is Mr. Keen. He likes you and he wants to secure a date with you asap. This is the best position you could ever be in. Enjoy. Don't be smug externally because that's just not nice, but a little inward smile is absolutely OK.
Tuesday Evening
- Mr. By The Book. Expect him to be balanced. He may have had a few girlfriends before and he will speak of 'Stages' he went through with them i.e.- 'We were at that stage' Everything will be pretty appropriate with this guy. This can be nice. Keep the crazy under wraps though as it will scare him off.
Wednesday Evening
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- This Man is over-confident. Sure you've gained half a stone in the 3 days waiting to see would he contact you. A date is booked in for Saturday.. OK.. The Diet begins now.
Thursday
- Well Mr. Thursday is just rude. How dare he insult you by showing he actually had the correct number (the thought crossed your mind that it was wrong.. these things happen) and the ability to text (again it did cross your mind in the throes of agony that maybe he was one of those rare people who text..)
Friday Night
- At Midnight a cheeky 'u out?' is bad. This man is BAD news. Get the F**k away from your phone. He should not be entertained. He will let you down non-stop and wreck your head. Avoid him like the plague unless you're one of those girls who likes to be upset and if someone actually treats you well you get freaked out.
Sunday Evening, a week later..
-This should not be entertained. He probably has about 5 girls on the go and is rotating them. You are above this crap. Don't reply.
Mr Phone Call
-He's a whole different player in the game called love. He will build you a fire, he won't forget Valentines day, he will be kind to your mother, he will send you cards… MR. Phone Call is a winner all round.
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