The relationship game is a difficult one, lots of people get hurt and fall in and out of love and for the most part, there's nothing you can do about it. Whether you've had one ex or twenty, you'll find them among this lot. Just remember to keep looking forward. You broke up for a reason, there are plenty more people out there for you. Here are the different types of exes that you might have during your 20s:
1) The Angry Crazy Ex
They are bat-shit insane. You wouldn't put it past them to burn all the clothes that you left behind, destroy all your books and talk shit about you behind your back. You're constantly worried that they will post that intimate picture of you, because they are filled with nothing but a sense of revenge for you leaving them. Who could blame you? They're insane. Now they're withholding all your belongings, threatening you and refusing to let you see any mutual friends or any pets you had together. You need to get a mediator involved to get your things back and once it's sorted, change your phone number, they have stalker written all over them. You most likely have either deleted their number or have them under 'Crazy Fucktard.'
They are listed in your phone as 'Crazy Fucktard'.
2) The Won't-Let-It-Go Ex
Everywhere you go, there they are. Classic denial strategy. They can't accept that you've left them, so they are trying to convince you that you should be together by constantly showing up at your work, outside your classes and while you're out for coffee with friends. Maybe stop checking in online when you get to places and start taking alternative routes to class. Maybe they'll back off.
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They are listed in your phone as 'It's Back.'
3) The Irresistible Ex or The Sex Ex
The ex that you can't help but be drawn to. Whenever you see them, you nearly always end up back at theirs. The sex was just always so good that you can't not have it with one another. You don't want to get back together with them, but you can't deny that you have a connection. You sometimes refer to yourselves as exes-with-benefits, because you can't really stand their personality so you could never be friends.
They are in your phone as 'Booty Call.'
4) The Ex Who Got Super Hot
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When you were together they could sit in front of the TV and inhale three pizzas in one sitting. Since you broke up they hit the gym and discovered personal grooming products. Now they are a class A hottie but you will never be able to go back there. If this was a competition, they won...sorry.
They are in your phonebook as 'Hot Bitch'.
5) The Ex Who Let Themselves Go
They took the break up hard and got into a relationship with two new men: Ben and Jerry, and the three of them spend a lot of time sitting at home watching movies together all day. If they hadn't deserved the breakup you'd feel sorry for them.
Under their own name on your phone, you didn't even remember to change their title.
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6) The Bender Ex
When you were an item, you had to drag them out to go socialising. Now, they are the life of the party, out nearly every night of the week. They are taking advantage of their new single life. You're trying to see if the person you dated is still there or has been replaced by some alien pod-person who is learning the human mating technique of getting plastered and taking home whoever will have them. They've tried to get in on with your friends, mostly in a sad attempt to get back at you.
Listed under your phone as 'Drunk Loser.'
7) The Friend Ex
You realised while you were dating that it just wasn't going to work out, you were better off as friends, so you broke it off. You still hang out often and you might even get a little jealous when they move on, but you know you're better off, not being with them. Your friends can't really understand how you're able to be friends with them, and any significant other you have in the future will always regard them as a threat to your relationship.
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They are under some cute in-joke name on your phone and that pisses off your new girl/boyfriend more than anything else. Or they've changed their name on your phone to 'The Best Sex You Ever Had.'
8) The Ex You Can't Be Friends With
There's no bad blood between you, the break up was amicable, you just can't be friends with them. Without the relationship you have nothing in common, no mutual friends or interests and they kind of annoy you after a while, mostly because they bore you to pieces. You still wish each other Happy Birthday every year and always say 'Hi' when you run into them. Other than that you have no communication with them.
You lost their number and didn't even realise.
9) The Ex Who Discovered They Were Dating The Wrong Sex
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Hey, it happens. You might have always got on really well with them, probably because you were both attracted to the same sex. Seeing as we all grew up in a hetero-sexualised society, many teenagers don't realise their sexual orientation until they've had more experience later in life. There's no need to be resentful towards them, they can't control their orientation. Forget any hopes of you getting back together, you are really not their type.
Under their own name on your phone because after you got over it, you were just friends again.
10) The Ex Who Hates You/ That You Hate
The breakup was ugly. Things were said that can't be taken back. Things were done that can't be forgiven. Even a mention of them pisses you off, so much so that your friends avoid mentioning them altogether. Whether you hate them, they hate you or you both hate each other, there's just a whole lot of hate and no love lost between you. Any time you meet each other out there's always some drama. You just can't be near them, the hate is too strong. Although, you might have accidentally slept with them once...or twice.
Under 'Do Not Answer' on your phone. Can't take too many chances, but you won't delete them either.
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11) The Ex Who Isn't Technically An Ex
One minute you were an item, the next you weren't talking. Not because you had a fight, life just kind of got in the way. You never were officially a couple so you never technically broke up. You still count them as an ex though. You don't like explaining the situation to others, too much confusion and half-truths, who needs that in their lives.
You can't remember if you ever even had their number...weren't you just Facebook friends?
12) The Ex Who's Taken But 'Misses You.'
They appeared to have moved on after you dumped them (most likely for cheating). They seemed to be happy in their new relationship (most likely with the person they cheated on you with). However, a few months in and now they are messaging you saying that they made a huge mistake and want you back. Don't even give them the time of day. Once a cheater, always a cheater. They need to live with their mistakes and not use you to get out of a relationship that isn't working.
In your phone as 'Can't Keep It In Their Pants.'
13) The One That Got Away
The one you always regret breaking up with. Usually a mutual decision to part ways, most likely because of distance. You will never really move on from them because you know that if you could be together you would be. It's not fair and you will always hold out hope for them. You just have to ask yourself, is waiting for them worth it, or should you move on with your life? It's up to you.
Listed on your phone as 'still waiting?' Are you?
