Manscaping 101

We are all unique, and have our individual quirks about what we like and how we keep ourselves in tip top shape. There are somethings that are both universally accepted and debated in terms of male grooming. But it's the 21st century lads...maybe its time we learned a bit more about our grooming needs. This is manscaping 101 ....

The Nether Regions

Alright, look, here's the thing. Its not the sixties anymore and the Venus bush has certainly been disappearing from popular culture. It's a well know fact that even Tarzan had better kept pubic hair than Jane [citation needed], and he lived in a jungle. We're not saying you have to go for the all out clean shaven porn star look and resemble a freshly plucked chicken but keeping it tidy down there is extremely important. Bottom line is pubic hair traps bacteria and moisture, which is what creates that unmistakable odor described in everyday terms as "smells like balls".

Also, a huge benefit if you keep it tidy, it won’t catch in your fly when if you go commando....

 

Here are some tips:

1. Shaving down there is probably the most economic option. Just be careful not to let the razor slip as you may never be the same again or you'll end up speaking an octave higher for the rest of your life. The downside is regrowth can be itchy and folk will presume you have crabs when you go for a scratch.

 

2. Waxing is out of the question, just imagine the grimacing, excruciating pain of dried wax ripping and tearing every strand from every follicle of your swamp nuts.

3. Creams or gels are the best option for hair removal on your sensitive Marble Sack, although you must be sure to choose a product that does not burn the hair off or you could have a nasty accident (SO NO VEET). Take my word for it, being blue balled is a whole lot better than being red balled.

4. Another option is to use a small scissors and trim this area.  Take your time though and be very careful that you only cut the hair and nothing more.

 

5. When finished make sure to give them a good polish ;)

6. Probably should be number one....don't mix up your razors, apologies if you forgot.

Rear End Hair Removal

You will need to be quite uninhibited for this, simply because you either need the help of a professional or a well trusted friend or else you face holding a mirror between your legs with one hand while trimming/shaving with the other.

 

Or else you could just listen to this guy, he seems to know best...

 

Chest and Arms

Chest hair

Do you go all big foot or sport a raw pigeon chest? My recommendation is keep it tidy. No annoying ingrown hairs and you don't have to walk around like you have a sleeveless jumper on during those trips to the pool on holidays. A hair trimming tool will take it to an acceptable  level. Keep in mind this completely goes against the age old theory of  "Since ancient times the chest hair has acted much like a chest antenna, allowing men to communicate with the cosmic force known as the man force. The more chest hairs a man has, the more at one he is with the man force."

Deodorant

Sweat doesn't have an odor... that comes when it mixes with bacteria on the skin!! Wear deodorant or no one will mix with you.

Hands

Keep them clean lads....soap, sanitiser or even a dollop of hand cream. We have it on good authority that dirty hands are not going nowhere near a ladies lady bits. Well...you probably guessed as much.

Lower Body

Legs

If you're not a swimmer, cyclist (or athlete of some form), porn star or Jared Leto in Dallas Buyers Club then you really shouldn't be shaving/waxing your legs. What lies beneath should serve as a warning to you all....

Feet 

It is extremely acceptable to trim your toe hair. Unless of course you have a style related thing about Frodo Baggins.