Thoughts Every College Girl Has During A One Night Stand

One night stands: love 'em or hate 'em they happen, and are seen as a rite-of-passage during college. They're drunken, they're messy and usually not very enjoyable. But then our good friend vodka raises its ugly head and makes us think that hey, they're actually a good idea. But what exactly goes through the mind of the girl when she's in the middle of it? Read on and find out...

1. Contraception

 

Shit, Did I Take My Pill Today? Or Yesterday?....Fuuuck he better have a condom.

2. His Room

 

....is fucking disgusting. Like, I thought I was a slob but c'mon - 7 crusty plates and what is that smell? Gross.

3. Why Didn't I Shave My Bikini Line Before I Went Out??

 

Seriously, I look like a grizzly bear down there, so typical. I'll just keep his hands away from there and sure he'll never know, he's half-pissed anyway.

4. Oh God, Why Am I Here?

 

No seriously, why in good fuck am I here?!

5. The Lighting

 

OMG why the fuck did he just put the light on?! He's gonna see that I look like a grizzly bear and I'm gonna realise that he's ugly AF.

6. Underwear

 

And oh shit, of course I'm wearing my Cookie Monster pants and not my lacey black ones. I am such a failure as an adult. And now he's just seen them and is laughing. Brilliant. I'm now the grizzly bear with kids underwear.

7. Puking

 

I'm gonna puke on him if he doesn't stop this weird bouncing on top of me that he's doing...

8. No Seriously, Like Why Am I Here?!

 

Someone bring me home please and thank you.

9. Fuck, What If He's A Serial Killer And I'm Gonna Die?

 

Should've just stayed at Coppers with the girls...

10. He Better Not Have An STD...

 

Shit, shit, shit, shit. Where is that condom?

11. Or A Girlfriend...

 

Did I even check to see if he had any hints of a gf in his room??

12. So He Can't Get It Up...Oh Christ This Is Awkward...

 

Just pretend like it isn't even happening...

13. ...Until He Rolls Over And Proceeds To Start Snoring Loudly

 

And that's when you puke. One night stands seriously suck.

 

10 Crazy One-Night Stand Experiences (Video)

Credit: The Richest.