It's the most wonderful time of the year if you're not dealing with the public.
If it wasn't for your work friends or the juicy discount you really don't know how you'd survive the eight weeks of Christmas shopping. It's even been proven that playing Christmas music repetitively is a form of torture:
1. Christmas Music Gets Old Fast
Christmas songs are the bane of everyone's existence but retailers suffer and boy do they suffer hard. Even though you might stroll in from the street with witty comments like "Oh, I love this song" the poor person behind the counter has heard this song 9 times today. There's only so many times you can listen to Destiny's Child '8 Days Of Christmas' before you want to pierce your eardrums.
2. Thieves and Undercover Mystery Shoppers
During the busy Christmas rush companies like to send staff to neighbouring shops to investigate everyone's customer service abilities - definitely a smart move. Retail staff are expected to juggle being an unchanging professional whilst worrying about the numerous shoplifters fleecing the shelves.
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3. Your Friends & Family Don't Understand
After 30 days of eight-hour shifts surrounded by Christmas music and wrapping paper your family expects you to be pumped to hear Mariah Carey's 'All I Want For Christmas'.
4. The Unsociable Working Hours/ Sales
Constant restocks, 6 am deliveries and late night opening hours are the bah humbugs of your retail Christmas. If you're lucky you have a manager who knows how to get shit done but if you're not you'll be stuck in that poorly heated stockroom until Stephens Day. Don't get us started on the hours retail staff has to work over Christmas 'cause there's no holiday or New Year's day for the poor feck your buying your 25% discounted jumper off.
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5. The Customer Is Always Right
The sayings from an arsehole of a customer include: "Excuse me! I'm spending five euro in this multi-billion corporation that pays you below minimum wage and I expect your devote attention/ I can get this cheaper somewhere else/ Get your manager". I could write a book about how awful customers are to retail staff in general but during Christmas they mutate into otherworldly beings.
6. Your Manager Is On Another Planet
Your manager has just come back from some weekend course and thinks that including you in pictures on the stores Facebook and Instagram dressed like an elf is a wonderful idea.
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7. You Never Close On Time
You're physically and emotionally exhausted all the time and the last thing you need is some absolute mong browsing the shelves 10 minutes after closing time.
8. Be Sound
The person behind the counter is mentally and physically drained. If they don't have something in stock it's not their fault. See that massive queue? Yeah, that's not their fault. Be sound. Be kind to the person standing in the queue with you and don't assume their initial instinct is to still your place in the queue. The person behind the counter will appreciate this more than you know.