By now, you've all probably heard that Toblerone have slightly altered their design. Instead of being triangle upon triangle, there is now a gap between each piece. A substantial gap, in truth, with one observer (me) stating that you could park a four-wheel-drive tractor between sections.
The online outrage has been enormous.
We told you terrible things, would happen, but did you listen? #TobleroneGate pic.twitter.com/XOE8GR7xdD
— Tim (@Kalyr) November 8, 2016
Big changes coming today, let's have a peek into the future. #Toblerone #Election2016 pic.twitter.com/BvkKUfruHg
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) November 8, 2016
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In fact, as we speak, #Toblerone and #TobleroneGate are now trending on Twitter in both Ireland and the UK. I too am apoplectic but for very different reasons.
You see we can sit here and argue all day about the amount of triangles and whatnot but it's time for mankind to stop beating around the bush and face up to the cold hard truth that Toblerones are actually fairly shit, regardless of design.
Have a sit down and think about this for a second. Where would you rank Toblerones on your list of favourite chocolate bars?
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In the chocolate world, they're a novelty act in a festival of high quality theatre.
They're only remarkable because of their size. 'They may not be the best bar but sure isn't a great laugh, how big it is?'
It's no laughing matter at all. The fact that they're only bought in airports speaks volumes. The next time someone returns from a jaunt across the world with the measly gift of a giant Toblerone, you should use it as a stick to beat them with.
What makes the gift of a Toblerone even worse is the fact that the white chocolate version is actually delicious. I won't have a bad word said about it. Don't be mistaken though; this does not forgive the overall shitness of the bar. In fact it only makes matters worse. Because now, every time some gets me a normal Toblerone, I can't help but think what might have been. What if that person have a bit of taste? What if they had a bit of cop on and bought me the white Toblerone?
Triangles, rectangles, wide open plains, they can change it up however they so well please. It will never get away from the fact that as a chocolate bar it is, was and always will be a bit shit.
